condition road travel

I donrsquo;t know what great deity I pissed off recently, but nothing seems to be going right lately.

My computer broke down on me about two months ago, leaving me with no clue as to what to do for a replacement.� Luckily, my dad stepped in and helped me buy a new one.� Of course, that wiped out what little I had in my bank account at the time, and Irsquo;m still indebted to him for 600 dollars over the next six months.

My glasses are broken too, but not so much that I canapos;t wear them.� Though they are a bit uncomfortable without a nose guard on one side, and a bit unsightly with a big gap in the frames from where i lost a screw (and replaced it with one that fit less well).� The scratches on them are distracting and make them harder to see through, but I certainly canrsquo;t afford to replace them, so that will just have to wait.� And I keep losing lip rings left and right, which I also canrsquo;t afford to replace.� Theyrsquo;re only little things, but when youapos;re having a few bad weeks, they mean a lot to you.

Over the past two months or so, my jeans and bras have been falling apart one by one.� So I could either walk around with holes in my crotch and wires sticking me in the ribs, or get new ones.� I opted to get new ones, not thinking about the repercussions.� When it was over and all of my tattered clothes were replaced, I had thoroughly exhausted the funds in my bank account.� I was left with just under 20 bucks until my next paycheck, two weeks later.

It was at this time that my video camera decided to break.� Of course, right before I discovered this, I had decided I would use it to create a project for one of my classes.� I had also, a day earlier, agreed to help another girl with her project.� Luckily for me, one shining speck of light in all of this crap is that my father doesnapos;t trust me with electronics, and the camera had a 4 year warranty on it.� However, to put everything right back at where it started, I got a call from Circuit City telling me that the repair would take longer than they thought because they donapos;t have the parts available to fix it since itrsquo;s an older model.

This past Thursday, I lost my wallet.� What I thought was the final straw in this series of unfortunate events that have overtaken the last two months of my life. Thankfully, that was also the day of Rosh Hashanah, so I was able to eat with my family at my unclersquo;s house that night to break the fast.� Of course, my fast was unintentional, as it just so happens that my check card (I donapos;t use cash) and student IDs (meal plan) were in my now lost wallet.� Of course, had I known that everyone wouldnrsquo;t get back from the synagogue until 8, I certainly wouldnrsquo;t have shown up at 6.� Sitting there for 2 hours, smelling the food cooking, and having eaten nothing since 6:30 the night before was pure torture.� I ended up chugging a bottle of water in two gulps when the fast was officially broken, and it was as close to heaven on earth that I think Irsquo;ll ever get.� Thinking back on it, Irsquo;m glad no one was near me when we finally were allowed to sit down and eat.� Limbs could have been lost.

I ended up breaking down and telling my family my recent misfortunes, and they all started giving me money to help me out.� I felt horrible.� I donapos;t like taking money from them.� But my tank was below empty, and I was spending the weekend in College Park and didnapos;t want to find myself becoming more of a burden on the house, seeing as how I already add to their water, electricity, and gas bills without helping them out at all.� Not to mention the free lodging I get by putting Mia out every weekend and sleeping on the futon in her room.� I�donapos;t need to feel like more of a tool in that situation, so money is essential if I plan on spending my time there.

In any case, that cash didnapos;t last long.� It was supposed to go towards getting a new license and student IDs, but I owed Mia $25, and the rest went to food and a little gas, though only until Saturday.� I tried to go to the bank to take out whatever was left in my account, but by the time I got there, they were closed.�

Luckily, I have a trunk full of things I have to sell in order to get some money and make ends meet.� I dug through, found my guitar hero 3 for the Wii, and had Mia and B come with me to GameStop to sell it.� It cost me 90 dollars when I bought it for Matt for Hanukkah ---- he had to sell his Wii, so he gave the game to me for safe keeping.� I hated having to text him earlier that week to ask if it could go in the "things to sell" pile.� In any case, I walked into GameStop with a 90 dollar game, and walked out with a whopping 17 dollars.� Of course, if the clerk had had it his way, I would have walked out with 22 dollars in store credit.

I was supposed to go to Lizrsquo;s that night for a party, but everything was just getting to be too much.� I knew with my luck going the way it has been, I would have gotten pulled over and given a ticket that I couldnrsquo;t afford for not having my license.� Aside from that, I was flat broke, and still trying to not use my dadrsquo;s gas card unless I had to.� So an hour long drive to Towson was out.�

The money from the guitar hero lasted me until Sunday night.� Then I had to ask Matt if I could charge his card and order some food online.� Again, it left me feeling horrible.� I donapos;t like having to take handouts just because I canapos;t manage my money better.� But oh well....

Luckily, my boss bought us all lunch on Monday at work.� Since I only had two dollars in my pocket, I wasnapos;t quite sure how the day would play out.� But it did, and I looked forward today, when I would get my new check card in the mail and head to CP�to get it and probably get some pho in the process.

But, going with the theme of recent months, it didnapos;t show up today.� I was torn between screaming and crying when Jo called to tell me.� But I did neither.� I just grabbed my dwindling box of wheat thins, filled a glass of water up from the tap, and sat back down to my computer to forget the knot in my stomach that comes from your only meal all day being a tootsie pop.

Now, as I sit here looking at an e-mail from the financial aid office, telling me that I owe them 6,000 dollars, and that my alternative loan hasnapos;t gone through yet (and noting the fees that come from bills being paid late), I just wonder.

I wonder when this headache is going to go away.
I wonder if you can take ibuprofen on a mostly empty stomach.

I wonder if Cappie and Casey are ever going to get back together on Greek.
I wonder if this is a glimpse at how the rest of my life is going to play out.
I wonder how I get myself into these messes.
I wonder how Iapos;m going to get myself out.

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